I’ve never been a follower of the Oscars. Or the Grammys. Or the Junos. Or the Tonys (and I probably should be for those…). But tonight that may have changed.
Ever since I really got interested in theatre, I’ve been a tad resentful towards movies. Although, now that I think about it, maybe not so much towards film itself, because I really do love watching movies, but towards the multi-billion dollar corporation and the fact that because film is so popular, theatre seems to have fallen a bit by the wayside. But, you know what? I think maybe watching the Academy Awards tonight may have taught me a few things.
And here I go, tearing up as I write. Damn it. Before I went over to my friend’s house to watch the awards, I told my Dad, “I just really like looking at the dresses the women are wearing,” to which he replied, “That’s usually what women like about the Academy Awards.” Well, though I did enjoy checking out the glitz and glamour all the ladies had to offer (although, J Lo, I swear I saw nipple… not good), I have to say my favourite part was listening to the reasons of why those at the awards love the movies, and I found that many of those reasons ring true when I think about why I love theatre. The magic. The ability to create something so powerful and real that you feel like you’re right where the action is. The overwhelming energy of all the people sitting in the theatre with you, whether active participants or passive observers. The undeniable sense of truth. My God, am I ever blubbering; I really hope no one walks into my room right now to see it…
It’s just amazing the power of art like this, whether film or live theatre. Truly. I really can’t put it into words because the only way to really understand is to experience it, and I think you know what I’m talking about; I doubt there are many that I know that haven’t been touched by a good film and I just wish that people would give live theatre enough of a chance to be touched there too.
Man, I so want to be a part of that. I think that’s the thing that gets me the most after watching the Oscars: by listening to the artists talk about their love of film, I was reminded of why I love live theatre and why I ever wanted to be an actor. And then I went to school so I could do just that and I chickened out. Why? Because I saw the others in the program and I never felt good enough. I never felt ready. True, I learned a great many things in my degree that opened my eyes to the possibilities of live theatre, to many new areas of interest, but I also learned fear, which is interesting because I thought that it was the other way around.
But here I sit, using kleenex after kleenex and the choice seems clear. I am a firm believer that when something makes you cry, it’s the right choice. Why? Hell if I know. But I do know that I love theatre and if I actually gave myself the chance then I could do well. Yes, it’s so scary because it is not an easy life. You have to put your heart and soul into the craft and be strong enough to deal with criticism and rejection over and over and over again. But if you make it, then that’s the best feeling in the world.
I’ve got to do it. I don’t know when, but someday the time will come and I will find a way. This post must be a testament to that.
In the mean time, box office duties call.