Ah, to be single on St. Valentine’s Day. All the hoopla of the day is enough to make one feel lonely if one’s single, and I definitely felt that today. I don’t think it helped that I didn’t work today and therefore was almost by myself the entire day (not including my parents, which doesn’t count).
But I suppose I can’t really wallow in self-pity because I’ve created my singlehood. Don’t you hate it when you’re the cause of your own misfortune? I think that’s the worst kind of pain, self-inflicted pain. Great thoughts for V-day, but I just need to get this out. When someone else is the cause of something unpleasant, at least you can think, “Well, at least it’s not my fault.” When you are the cause of your own problem it is your fault and we, as humans, always look to shift the blame to others because we (hopefully) tend to like ourselves.
Now, I realize being single is not a great misfortune like being without food or shelter – and as soon as I put it that way, I feel bad for wallowing… gotta love Catholic guilt.
But you know what? I’m going to wallow and really feel it so that maybe I actually get off my ass and do something about these things I’m feeling. It’s time to stop being afraid of the unknown and embrace the excitement it brings instead. Will I actually do it? Well… I kind of am in the middle of a bet, so I better stay true because the other person really has a big challenge ahead of him and I know he’ll pull through.
I also saw a quote that says, “A life lived in fear is half-lived.” Shudder. I better get off my ass then and face the beast then.
As soon as this cold goes away.
Old habits die hard? Yup.