Monthly Archives: May 2012

I Believe

Believe in your gifts because those are the things that make you you and are how you make this world a better place.


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Want to Feel Like a Woman? Then Act Like One

I was wasting time on Facebook (as per usual) when I noticed a link to an article called “What to Wear on a First Date: Your 60 Second Visual Guide (Spring/Summer Edition)”, but instead of being geared towards women, it looked like it was geared towards men. Curious, I clicked on the link and found myself looking at an article that is indeed meant to instruct men how to dress for a first date. By this point, my spidey sense was telling me this website is made for men and my suspicions were realized when I realized the name of the website is called The Art of Manliness with the tagline,”Reviving the lost art of manliness.”

My curiosity now at its peak, I began to explore the website a bit and came across an article called “Want to Feel Like a Man? Then Act Like One.” by Brett. Obviously I clicked on it and as a result I was floored. Now, the article itself was really well written and used great examples and support to get the message across, but what really impressed me were the comments left by all the men who’d read the article as well. They were such thoughtful, serious comments and as a woman living in contemporary society (geeze, I’m basically rewriting the comment I left under the article), I was so glad to see men thinking about serious issues. Truth be told, many times I find myself surrounded by men who just objectify me and don’t give a rat’s ass about how I’m doing or feeling. These men’s comments help put my faith back in there being decent men out there (no offense to any men reading this. I’m sure you’re all great; it’s just very possible I haven’t met you yet). I truly think that all of my man friends need to read this article (also see this really touching one that I just read; ladies, can you say “Eek!”?)

However, I don’t think this article should be reserved for just men. Nope. While I was reading it, I kept finding myself thinking, “You know, this could totally apply to women too.” So, listen up, ladies! Do you ever find that you feel like you’re a teenage girl trapped inside a woman’s body? I know I do. Almost all the time (granted, it doesn’t help that my clown is still a baby, but I digress). However, what Brett suggests is that our society thinks that in order to be something, you need to feel like it AKA in order to be a woman, I need to feel like one, which I’ve already said I don’t, so that must mean that I’m not… WRONG! You will become the woman you want to be only through acting like one. One of the adages Brett uses is the ever-popular, “Fake it until you make it.” This could be used for everything: personal development, career success, relationship success, everything, I say! Man, I’m just so inspired, I can barely contain myself. Now I actually want to be a woman instead of some little girl playing at womanhood.

So, here is the challenge: I am going to write out what kind of woman I want to be (this was also suggested in Brett’s article) and I’m going to try my best to live it! Maybe some of you want to do it too. Who knows; it might work.

I want to be an authentic, independent, strong, feminine, compassionate, adventurous, well-travelled, artistic, loving, vulnerable, fashionable, woman.


Joyanne 😀

P.s. Since I’ve written this post, I’ve had a question about what ‘being a woman’ really means. Good question. I think it’s different for everyone, but in general I believe it means taking responsibility for your life and not letting anyone trample over you or tell you how you should live your life. It’s taking ownership of yourself and allowing yourself to grow into the type of person you want to be in accordance with the specific gifts you have. Hence why I think the article that inspired this post can apply to both men and women. Taking ownership is a universal action. Hope that helps.


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This post is for those who have lost my trust:

It may be a long time before we meet again, but never fear. We will meet again. And when we do, I want you to take a good look at me. You may have trouble recognizing me, not because I have changed my hair, or because I dress differently, but because I am not who you think I am. Indeed, you will not recognize me precisely for the fact that I am no longer trying to be who you want me to be. I will finally be myself. I will walk the way I am meant to walk, I will act the way I am meant to act, I will speak the things I am meant to speak. And you won’t know how to handle that. I’m sorry that you won’t because the real me is amazing and it’s a shame you won’t be able to realize that. And this time, it’s your loss that you won’t, not mine, because I am already doing all I can and that’s enough.

So, when we meet, take that good look. And then keep on walking.


P.s. Click here

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I enter the theatre. There are many people milling around, getting drinks, chatting, and drifting into the theatre proper. I hand my ticket to the usher. She tears off the end with a kkkkkrrrrrrrrrrppppppp and hands it back to me. I walk in and immediately look towards the stage. If the set is visible, I marvel at the aesthetic and imagine the designer creating a world that must transfer from mind to paper to model to the reality before me. I wonder how many people worked on it and how many hours it took to build, to paint, to furnish. If the curtain shields the set, however, I wonder what it will look like and prepare to be surprised. I then look for my seat and sit down. I watch as the theatre fills up with other audience members, most still gabbing away. But I sit quietly and watch them, watch these people who I will soon become one with. Suddenly, a bell signals the play will start in five minutes’ time. The people stream in faster now, everyone searching for his or her seat. Finally, the doors close, but no one ceases their conversation until at last, the lights begin to dim. Silence. This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the moment of anticipation where we all as one collective audience wait to be enchanted, pushed and pulled in every direction, and turned upside down. And we do. For as the play begins, we are pulled into a world that isn’t our own. Or maybe it is exactly our own and we relish in recognizing our world. The action happens right before us in our own time and space and propels us to laugh and cry, gasp and wring our hands, sigh like a babe full of sleep, cheer when at last the conflicts are resolved. And then, it is over. And it is revealed to be a game, this play, a game to tickle our fancy and even challenge and educate. And we, the collective audience, stand and applaud the efforts of these players, those that took us on a journey unlike any other because we were right there when it happened before us. We appreciate the sacrifice and struggle of those on stage because they seek to help us become better people. It does not matter whether what is shown on stage is in line with your morality. What matters is what you do with the information given to you. Many people live on this earth and everyone deserves to tell their story. Listen. Watch. And allow yourself to be surprised.

Joyanne 😀

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