How do you know if you’re every going to make it? I mean really make it? And when I say make it, I mean do what you love your entire life and still be able to support yourself? It’s one thing if your dream is to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or even a teacher. But what about being a performer? I guess in order to make it, you really need to want it. And I don’t know if I want it enough.
I love theatre. Every time I watch a show, I can guarantee I will find someplace to cry because I’m touched so much, because I want to be up there doing what those performers do. But I don’t know if I have the drive to really live that way. To live paycheck to paycheck. I mean, I guess I’m basically doing that now, but working at a theatre is different than working in it.
Can I really work in theatre? I really can’t answer that question. Why? Because I still don’t know who I am. How can I know what I’m supposed to do if I don’t know myself yet? I want to work in theatre, but does theatre want to work with me? I have a lot of different views than many of my theatre friends and I’m not sure I completely belong in that world.
But if I don’t try, how can I know? How can any of us know if we can be that doctor, lawyer, or teacher unless we try? No. I take that back. How can we know unless we do it? And I must do it. So, I will. I don’t know when, but I will. Let this be my promise: I will work in theatre. Somehow. And it will be through something that I care a lot about, even if I am ahead of my time.