Think about this: if someone wrongs you in some way and then apologizes, do you say, “That’s okay,” or do you say, “I forgive you”?
For the past little bit I’ve become aware of the fact that I never ever say the words, “I forgive you” to anyone who apologizes to me after hurting me in some way. I always say, “It’s okay.” Problem is, it’s not okay, but for some reason I feel so awkward saying the words, “I forgive you.” Why is that? I don’t know, but I’m thinking I’m not the only one who says, “That’s okay” even when someone really hurt you and it’s clearly not okay that they did so.
Why does this matter? Well, I feel like when we say, “It’s okay” we brush aside any responsibility the other person has in aquiring our forgiveness, and any responsibility we have in forgiving them. I’m sure you have heard that forgiveness is the key to successful relationships, whether they be platonic or romantic, and I think the reason why this is is because when we say, “I forgive you,” we acknowledge that what the other person did was indeed wrong and/or did hurt, but we are willing to move past it. When we say, “That’s okay,” we literally say, “I’m fine with what you did, so let’s not talk about it anymore.” BUT IT’S NOT OKAY! Are we honestly such pushovers that we can’t say to someone, “You were wrong and what you did hurt, but I still love you”? I know I am, and it sucks to realize that.
But now that I’ve realized the enormous difference between the two phrases, I’m going to try my best to actually forgive someone instead of pretending that everything is okay. I hope you join me in this quest for being brave enough to forgive!